Cure for the Mother's Day Blues

Today is Mother's Day and I am alone in Tennessee missing my kids terribly.  Gone are the days when they jump on  your bed screaming and hollering "Mommy, get up, we made you breakfast in bed".  As the dog jumps on top of the bed and heads over to lick your face, the kids bring a tray over with coffee, eggs, and toast.  So proud that they put it all together (well, with a little help from Daddy!). 

Now it is my daughters turn to let her daughter do the same to  her. Hopefully her husband brought Sofia up and let her jump on the bed and wake Mommy up.  

I miss those days, but I know life must go on.  My kids have lives of their own and we aren't living in the same state any more. My daughters are coming down on Memorial day weekend and we will celebrate then. Of course, they are coming because that is my gift to them for their 30th birthdays.  Are they really 30?  Lindsay was 30 last July and Heather will be 30 in December.  Yes, life really does fly by. 

I wanted to find a way to celebrate the day myself so I dragged my sacred box out with all the cards and trinkets that they have given me over the years.  I don't go through the box often but today seemed like a good time to revisit it. I had myself a good cry, literally a good cry.  

Here are some of my favorites that I pulled out of the  box today:

When I was moving to Texas in 2005, Lindsay gave me a card that read:  Happy Mother's Day, Mom, no matter where you go, or what you do, I'll always be there for you.  On the inside she hand wrote "Ha ha ha, you can't get rid of me! I love you and even if you move across the world I'll always come see you!"  This makes me cry every time I read it.  It was hard for the kids when I moved and it took a lot for Lindsay to write that card and I appreciated that card more than she knew.

Then there is the birthday card from my son Matthew on my 40th where he signed it "Matthew Vickery", did he think I would forget his last name?  I laugh every time I read that card.  

My daughter Heather has a wonderful dry sarcastic sense of humor. She knows me so well.  One of my favorite cards from her  says "Have fun at your birthday party.  Just don't run with that pointy hat, you could put an eye out.". Yes she knows what I have done to myself with pointy objects.  Actually it doesn't even have to be pointy and I hurt myself!

I have packed the box back up and placed it in a special place.  Someday I will sit down with the kids and let them go through the box, hopefully so we can share a tear and some laughs.  

Happy Mother's Day to all.

Running Away From the Nut Jobs...

Where did I leave off?  I dated Mr. 95% for a couple of weeks and all of a sudden I don't hear from him.  And I waited, and waited, and waited, and finally heard from him. His rating was starting to drop big time at this point, I am thinking he is now Mr. 30%.  The guy is either lacking social skills in communication, which is funny because he is in marketing, or he is a douche bag, I go with the latter. His new moniker is Mr. DB (douche bag). 

 

 He texts me "How was your weekend?' on a Monday after I haven't heard from him in 2 weeks. Really? Well I sat on that text for about 8 hours pondering how to respond to it. I was with a group of women on a consulting job so I asked them for their opinion on how I should respond. This is the list of the responses we came up with:

• Had a wonderful weekend without you
• Couldn't have been better, slept with 5 guys (not really)
• It was so good I eloped
• Who is this?
• I am sorry, do I know you?

At the end I just answered back "great" and left it at that to which he texted back that he had a great weekend as some of his friends visited for the weekend.  Yeah, right, I am sure it was friends of the female persuasion. Do guys really think we believe that crap? 

Well, there were more options available to me.  Mr. Douche Bag was put in the back of my mind and I set up another date with a guy from "Ourtime", the dating site for singles over 50.  Oh my, did I really sign up for that site? Yes, unfortunately I did.  99% of the responses I get are from guys that look like my grandfather.  YUK -A- Doodle.  This hot blonde does not date men that look like they have been ridden hard and put away wet.  If only, LOL.

So back to my date.  This guy I will call Mr. Obnoxious.  I didn't know it at the time I set up the date, but that will give you a prelude to my date.  We decided to meet at this bar at 7 pm on a Saturday.  I arrived and noticed that he was at the bar - Wow that was a first - usually I am early.  Then he stands up and says rather loudly "You look just like your picture", to which I said, "Yes, I post recent photos" and I thought to myself "Too bad you didn't post a recent photo".  He was a bit heavier and older than the pictures online.  But he wasn't obese so I thought to myself, I could have a glass of wine with him, it won’t kill me. Little did I know how bad it was about to get. 

 

We sat down and as I arranged my chair he grabbed the chair and pulled it close to him to which I pushed it away.  He asked me "What's the matter do I smell?"  "No", I said "but I don't need to sit in your lap".  Oh, this is going to be a long night I thought.  We looked at the wine list and he decided on a bottle of wine and he poured me a glass.  I asked him some usual questions, "Where did you grow up?", "Any kids", etc.  He answered as he pounded the wine down.  

He finished the bottle of wine and asked me if I wanted another bottle. I said, “No thanks, I am fine with water now”.  He asked me “Haven’t you ever sat down and had an entire bottle of wine?”  “No, I said”.  He said “I do often”.  He ordered a glass of wine.

Run, Linda, run now, get the heck out while you can. Get your taser ready...

Before I could get up he pulled out his Star of David necklace. Again rather loudly said, “I am Jewish, do you have a problem with that?".  To which I said, "No, but I am not religious".  Apparently wine and non-religious people don’t go together with this guy. He yelled out “You don’t believe in a Supreme being?”  I knew I was in trouble, how do you gracefully exit this conversation? People were now looking at us.   I tried to change the conversation, anything would be better than this one.  Before I could change the subject he asked me if I was going to take down my profile now that I met him and we were going to be dating! I almost burst out laughing, I really had to control myself.   Did he really think I was going to go out with him again?  I said “No, I barely know you.  I am not ready to take it down”.  To myself I said “Now way in hell am I going out with this nut job again”.

Not a good idea, he went off like a rocket rambling on about how women are all the same, say they want a relationship but not willing to commit.  Did I hear that right?  I just met the guy and he wants a commitment?  He needed to be committed! 

I got up and put some money on the bar and said thank you and goodbye. I ran out of the bar afraid he was going to follow me. Holy Cow, what a jerk he was.

I went home and logged on to “Ourtime” to block him and noticed I had more mail……

Mr. 95%

Where was I?  Oh yeah, Mr. 95% walked into the bar and we saw each other and smiled.  He looked just like his picture, nice! Most times men post pictures from ages ago and pounds ago!  The couple that I was chatting with looked him up and down, which embarrassed me tremendously!  He looked at them like who the heck are you??  LOL  So I explained why they were looking at him.  Mr. 95% and I sat down and introduced ourselves and spent the next 4 hours, yes I said 4 hours, chatting and drinking wine.  It was one of the most pleasant first dates I have had. We actually were the last ones to leave the bar and we left and we made plans to get together again.



I went home and thought what a nice guy, down to earth, friendly, attractive, and funny.  Who could ask for anything more?  What I didn't count on was that he moved at a speed slower than molasses.

A couple of days later a storm was coming in and I didn't feel like going back to the hotel so I texted Mr. 95% and asked him if he wanted to go to a bar and ride out the storm. He was in!  Sweet! We met a cool bar in Nashville and waited for the rain and storm to come.  It didn't take long before it was howling and blowing away.  Kind of fun to sit there and watch the storm, there were others in the bar doing the same thing.  We parted ways, but I knew I wouldn't see him for a while, he was going skiing with friends for a week.





So I continued to respond to guys who emailed me.  Some were just atrocious! Some were OK, but no one came close to Mr. 95%.  Remember Mr. SoNotMyType?  Well I decided to meet him for a glass of wine.  I mean, it was just a glass of wine.  I could have a glass of wine with anyone, right?

We picked a  place to meet and of course I got there early. Did I mention that I have a problem with that???  If I didn't, I do.  So Mr. SoNotMyType walked in and I thought "eh", not really my type but what else do I have to do?  So we actually had a pleasant conversation and moved to another wine bar for another glass of vino.  We parted ways and I thought there was no connection, no spark whatsoever.

I never thought dating would be this hard.  I am trying to remember if it was this difficult when I was a teenager. Oh yeah, that's right, it wasn't fun back then either!

In the mean time, Mr. VeryCute emailed and asked I wanted to get together for coffee.  "Sure" I said.  I won't find Mr. Right if I don't keep looking.  We made plans to meet at a Starbucks.  As I got to the Starbucks, I realized it wasn't a great section of town,  I went inside and the place was packed, not a place to sit.  There were tables outside, but they were all full as well.  I spied a McDonald's across the parking lot and called Mr. VeryCute and told him the situation and said I would meet him there.

Mr. VeryCute was even cuter in person.  Should a 54 year old woman  be saying a man is cute?  Probably not, but it seemed to fit.  We sat down and went through the typical questions 1.  What do you do for work, 2.  How many kids? How old? 3.  How long have you been here?  4. What brought you here?  5. What do you do for fun?.  We seemed to be getting along fine, then we got up to leave,, talking about getting together again.  He walked me out to my car, well he actually walked me to someone else's car.  They had Indiana plates and he assumed it was my car.  But my car was next to it.  When I told him that was not my car, my car was the THIS one, he kind of had a look, hard to explain the look but it was not a good look.


Needless to say, I never heard from him again, all because of my car.  It is a challenge to be successful and find a date.  I have found that most men are afraid of successful women.  That just because I do well I must be shallow or all about money.  Really? If I was a man it wouldn't be an issue at all.



It was a busy time for me, moving, packing, unpacking, etc.  so I put the dating aside for awhile so I could focus on getting settled in.

I couldn't wait for Mr. 95% to come  back from skiing...........

Dating in my 50's: Should I just give up on finding THE ONE?

Let's see  where did I leave off.  Oh yeah, I had mail.

I went into the email section to see what I had.  I don't know about you but I love to get mail, almost doesn't matter what it is, it is so much fun opening mail.  It also makes you feel wanted when you get snail mail or email.  OK, I know I am digressing and I should get to the point.

In the email box was an email from Mr.95%!  I was so excited I almost passed out; he actually wrote back.  But wait, he could be writing to tell me to take a hike, that I am so not his type, that I am too fat, too skinny, too blonde.  Now I had a new dilemma, should I open the email and get disappointed or should I wait a while and savor the moment????  But wait, not only did I have an email from Mr. 95%, but I had two  other emails.  Let's see what shall I call them?  One I will call Mr. SoNotMyType and the other I will call Mr. VeryCute.

I decided to open Mr. SoNotMyType's email first, after all he wrote me so it won't disappoint me would it?  I opened the  email and he said he liked my profile and would like to get to know more about me.  OK, so far so good.... I next went to his profile.  Our match percentage was 84%.  Hmmm, OK why do different?  Well for one he was only 5'6", outside my range of heights I prefer, secondly, he was Asian.  Not to say there is anything wrong with Asians, just in the past they have not been my type. Thirdly, he had little kids (10 and 12).  But he did say he loved wine so he couldn't be all that bad could he?   And after all, my track record with my so-called "type" wasn't so good; maybe I should try to date some men that didn't fit into my typical "type".

I decided to write Mr. SoNotMyType back. I asked him what kind of wine was his favorite and left it at that.

Next I opened Mr.VeryCute's email.  His email said " I rarely search....normally just read emails, etc.  This time I found your profile and got a smile. Let me know if the same happens to  you."  Wow, I was smitten already!  I wrote Mr. VeryCute back and said "Why, thank you for the comment. I like your plaid pajamas".  Yeah, I know sounds crazy but there was a picture of him standing in his kitchen making breakfast in plaid pajama bottoms and a t-shirt.  Very cute indeed.

By this time Mr. SoNotMyType already wrote me back.  I wasn't sure if I should answer, I was  hesitant again so instead of opening that email I bit the bullet and opened Mr. 95%.  Holy Cow he said he liked my profile too! He highlighted that we were a 95% match and asked what my favorite wine was.  We went back and forth for about a half hour trading emails.  Mr. SoNotMyType and Mr.VeryCute were pushed to the back burner.  We decided to meet the following Tuesday at a place known for their wine selection. 

OH MY GOD, I HAVE A DATE. What in the world have I done?  I haven't been on a date in over 10 years.  How in the world will I get ready, what will I wear? Is his picture recent? Is he a dork? What if he is an ax murderer? I don't know anyone here, who will I tell where I am going in case he abducts me and keeps me as his sex slave???? Well, maybe I would not tell anyone, that could be interesting...

The next day, Monday, I went to work and told this woman who I had become friends with. I think she was more excited than I was.  Of course she would come to rescue me if I got abducted she said with excitement!  She gave me her cell phone and I gave her mine. We had a plan that I would call at a certain time if things were going bad.  We discussed what I should wear; she said go home and put jeans on and a sexy top!  

Tuesday I could barely stand it in work, when was this day going to be over so I could go home, change, and head out to meet Mr.95%?  Finally the end of the day came and I went home, changed into jeans and sweater and headed out. All the way there I was thinking "please don't be a dork".  

I got to the bar and he was not there, but that is because I was 15 minutes early, a small problem of mine, I am always early.  I got to the bar and found a seat next to this nice couple.  We struck up a conversation and they asked me why I was here alone. I told them I was meeting a blind date.  Apparently this surprises lots of people because they were excited!  They said they were getting ready to leave, but now they were going to wait to see if this guy was dork or hot!!  We had fun wondering what he would really be like.  

And then he walked in..................................

New Job, New House, New Mate?????

I am back!  Well, I am finally getting settled in my new house and my new job, and I suppose my new life.  My divorce is final and it is time to move on and what a better way than to start dating again.  SAY WHAT??? Yup, dating again, am I crazy?

I never thought that at 54 I would be dating again, let alone be single again.  I thought I had found my prince charming, my soul mate; but life happens and things change.  This blog isn't about blame it is about dating in my 50’s. 

I didn't know where to start, my daughter had suggested OKCupid, she found it easy so I signed up for OK Cupid and it was free! I had tried Match.com before and the free part of it was not easy to use so I wanted to try something different.  To start I had create a name, something catchy that would scream out “Pick me, pick me”!  Wow, it was pretty hard to think of something catchy so I said to myself, “what do I like to do?”, hmmm, “I like to drink wine”.  Shazam, there it was I became WineLover2014.  Now all I had to do was fill out some basics and 6 thousand pages of questions and answers and off I go. Some of the questions are downright scary.  Example:  Would you date someone with herpes?   Huh?????  This was almost as crazy as the questionnaire for unemployment benefits when they asked me what my knife skills were. 

What you do is answer a bunch of questions and then you select the answer that you will accept from a “match”.  Then you rate how important it is to you.  One was question was “does smoking disgust you?” I answered yes, and then selected “yes” for my match, and selected that the answer was mandatory for me, after all I didn't want to kiss an ashtray.   After you spend hours answering the questions you can search men and you will get a score for them.  I decided to look at one match that came up with a very high percentage match, it was around 95%.  I went through his profile and thought yeah, he could be a possibility. His profile was pretty funny, had a very sarcastic tone to it and his favorite movie was “Planes, Trains, and Automobiles” which just happens to be my favorite movie.  So I thought this site might not be so bad. 

It got pretty interesting when not more than 5 minutes after finishing my profile I had mail!  I was so excited, someone liked my profile, and someone liked me!  Wahoo, the thought of the possibilities was more exciting that opening the email.    I went to my mailbox and opened up the message with high hopes only to be sorely disappointed, and I mean very disappointed.   The picture attached to the email made me gasp with, well I am not quite sure, but almost disgust.  The guy looked to be about 75 years old and could probably play a good Santa Claus at Christmas time. Are you kidding me?  I don’t think anyone really reads what people are looking for; they just look at the picture and say “hey, I like the picture; I am going to send an email”.  If some of the guys had bothered to read my profile it says I am looking for a specific age range, non-smokers, fit, active, etc, not overweight couch potatoes.  Oh brother, this is going to be an adventure for sure.   

So back to Mr.95%.  I read his profile with interest, it was so sarcastically funny that it made me laugh out loud.  And as an added extra bonus he likes wine!  What more could a girl ask for? I hemmed and hawed over sending him an email, my heart was racing, would it be too forward? Would he think I was a hussy?  Who uses that word anymore? What the heck is a hussy anyhow? Oh my god, I just googled hussy and apparently there are all kinds of movies about hussies -"Backwoods Hussy", "Louisiana Hussy", "The Gorgeous Hussy" (that one must be about me).  The dictionary says a hussy is  an impudent or immoral girl or woman. 

synonyms:

minx, coquette, tease, seductress, Lolita, Jezebel

Ok, I am digressing here down a tangent that I had no desire to go down!!  So I sent Mr. 95% an email, I said I like your profile, it made me laugh, and who would have thought there was someone else out there that had "Planes, Trains, and Automobiles" as their favorite movie?  I hesitated before I pressed the dreaded "send" button.  I had second thoughts, this whole idea was stupid.  No one was going to like me, I am a 54 year old twice divorced woman. 

So I had a little pity party for myself then I started to think about all the things I had to offer a man:

• I have integrity
• I am honest
• I am educated
• I am funny
• I am adventurous 
• I am fit (well I try hard) 
• I am financially stable
• I have big boobs (maybe I shouldn't say that - kinda gets back to the hussy thing)

Hmm, not too shabby.  So my confidence started to climb, I was feeling good, someone would like me - then the cat threw up on rug and I came back down to reality! 

My finger hovered over that send button for about 5 minutes. Should I do it?  I decided I needed a glass of wine first, then I would do it. After all that,  I pushed the send button. Damn, can I take it back? Where is the recall button?  What, there isn't one?  Holy Cow I can't believe I sent it, what an idiot I am.  

But wait, there was an alert, I have mail...........

To be continued.

New Job, New Location, New House, What Next?

If you have been following my blog you know that I lost my job in June 2013.  I was devastated as that has never happened to me.  But, I am a strong woman and I decided to make lemonade out of lemons or maybe Lemoncello!  Hence my blog.  I have started my new job today, January 6, 2014 in Brentwood, TN.  Now that I have found a job friends have begged me to not stop blogging, so their wish is my command. I will now focus on my house hunt and finding new friends and activities in the Nashville are.




The House Hunt:
If any of  you have not figured out, I don't let moss grow on a rolling stone.  When I knew I was moving to Tennessee, I started looking at housing so I would have an idea of what I was getting into. I had no clue where to start. I was assigned a relocation agent and she gave me some guidance as to where the nice areas are which areas have the best resale values.  RESALE?  I haven't even moved yet and I have to think of resale?  I am nauseous thinking about this move, please do I have to think about resale already?  Well, yes, I do, everyone should think about resale for the very situation that I found myself in.

What do I want for my next house, hopefully the house I will retire in?  Big questions for which I didn't have a lot answers to.  The agent asked me to list what I wanted.  The best I could do was say look at my current house listing, that is what I want. I love my house in Indiana, can it be airlifted to Tennessee?  Well, apparently not.


The agent sent me a bunch of listings that I went through and I selected the ones I wanted to view this past weekend.  By the time I was ready to come down half the listings were already under contract.  GEEZ, a hot market to boot.  The agent picked me up and off we went last Saturday to look at houses before the storm hit.  The first listing the agent thought was going to be my favorite based on what my current house was like.  We walked in and both of us were taken aback at how dirty the house was.  I can't believe that people would actually leave a house dirty when they know that their house is being shown to a perspective buyer.  Granted, they house had granite counters, high end appliances, etc, but the counters were dirty and sticky!  The house looked like it had not been vacuumed in a month.

If you view my house you will notice that you can eat off the floor.  I have hand cleaned and waxed the wood floors, repainted all the woodwork, it is immaculate. Why on earth are people so dirty?  Needless to say I passed on quite a few houses before even going in the door.

My house in Indiana has had lots of activity, just need someone to show me the money!!

All I Want for Christmas is My House to Sell!

Well, I have been remiss in  posting since Thanksgiving, and I apologize for that. But I had a good reason which I will discuss here.  Several days before Thanksgiving I was offered two positions that are outstanding, from companies that I would be proud to work for.  I had a difficult decision to make, which one do I accept?  I promised both companies I would make my decision the day before Thanksgiving.  I was stressed out; would I make the right decision, would I pick the company that would be a mutual fit?

The first company to make me an offer was for a position that I did not apply for!  I was being interviewed for another role, one that I was very over qualified for, but I liked the company and thought it would be a great way to get my foot in the door. When I went for my interviews for a Director of Supply Chain position, I was told that my resume had been passed around and there was interest from other groups in the company and a desire to interview me for other roles.  They asked if I would be interested?  Of course I would!!!!  What happened next was a whirlwind of creating a new position for me: Asst. VP Consulting, HealthTrust/Parallon.  The company felt that based on my broad experience in healthcare that I could help them build the supply chain practice.  

The second company to make me an offer is a large consulting firm with which I have ties going back to my CapGemini days.  Great company, great people, again I would be proud to work for this company. They offered me an Advanced Senior Manager position with a fast tract to Partner/Director.  I would be building the Supply Chain practice as well.  

My conundrum was that both positions were great and offer advancement opportunities, both very ethical, both had fantastic cultural fits, compensation, benefits, etc. all wonderful.  So how did I make my decision? It all came down to timing, the offer I accepted was the first I received.  The second offer came a couple days later and with no other real differences between them I took the one that came in first.  

Now that I have crossed that finish line the real fun has started.  I am in the midst of relocating to Nashville, TN.  This will be my third corporate relocation, the first time around the holidays.  I also had committed to babysit my granddaughter in Massachusetts so I am doing everything remotely right now. UGHHHH.

Ok, who has applied for a mortgage lately?  WOW, it has gotten ugly what you have to do to get pre-qualified. My daughter doesn't have a scanner so I have become best buddies with the guy at Staples.  I have had over 100 pages of documents scanned that I had to sign, and I am not done yet.  The bank basically wants your next of kin to sign that they will name their next born child after the bank.  I actually had to write a letter explaining why Pier 1 Imports had inquired into my credit history 3 weeks ago.  I had gone to Pier 1 to ask them to help me stage my house for the holiday showings.  If I opened a Pier 1 charge card that day I would get 20% off my entire purchase.  Well I may be blonde, but I am not stupid and I took the deal. They did an awesome job with suggestions for staging. It looks awesome!

Here's hoping I get an offer on my house Carmel so I can start shopping for my house in Nashville.

The saga will continue.........

When it just keeps getting worse, who you gonna call? Ghost Busters!

It is Halloween time, everyone has  their pumpkins on their front stoops, festive orange lights around trees, and corn stocks around the lamp posts.  Pretty soon the ghosts and goblins will be arriving at my door asking for their treats. Witches Brews will be simmering, although I think the aliens are at my door already!

I have been having interviews with multiple companies over the past several weeks, some further along in the process than others, yet all of them require moving out of Indiana.  Moving is not a problem for me, I am looking forward to moving to a new location and starting a new chapter in my life, a new adventure!  In the process of going through my stuff to weed out the junk that doesn't need to move with me, I am stirring up memories that are overwhelming me.  You see I am in the middle of my second divorce, yikes say WHAT?????

Yesterday I found my wedding and honeymoon files which brought back very fond memories.  We rented out the Publick House in Sturbridge, MA for the wedding. We had the place packed with family and friends.  So what do I do with the stuff I keep asking myself? Keep it or toss it?  Even though the marriage is failing, the wedding memories are still good right?  Darn it those Phantom ghosts and Evil B*tches from the past.  What about the mementos from the Mediterranean cruise we took for our honeymoon?  All the ticket stubs that I was going to put into a scrap book, do I keep them or toss them? So many questions and so many haunting, fun and adventurous memories. What to do, what to do?

So you can see my Conundrum.  One side of me is in melancholy, the other side is excited for the new adventure.  Speaking of which, I finally received my first unemployment check, er deposit, debit card, whatever they are calling it now.  What an adventure that turned out to be.  I really feel for the folks who are not as fortunate as I am who really depend on that money to keep their families safe and fed.  While the government Vampires may think they are doing people a favor by only using these debit cards, it makes it very difficult and challenging to get the money in the appropriate place without any extra fees that only dwindle the amount that you actually receive.

While I may have  poked fun at being required to attend an orientation session at the WorkOne office is Fishers, I have met some lovely people there.  One woman that I met and I meet weekly to discuss our progress in the job  hunt, discuss the barriers, and Zombies we have come across in our travels.  It is welcoming to be able to vent and share without prejudice. 

You may have noticed the bold, italicized and underlined words in the post today.  They are all Halloween wines.  I recommend going out and trying some different brews; and hang on to the bottles, they make great conversation pieces.  I will never forget when my husband bought me the Evil and B*tch wines and put them side by side.  Hmm......wonder if that is why I am getting divorced.   Happy Halloween!!

We are off to see the Wizard

As I discussed last week, I was required to attend a session at the unemployment office.  Well, last Tuesday was the day and it was, lets just say it was interesting. I felt like I had been picked up by a tornado and dropped in Oz!  This whole process of searching for my last best job has been like traveling down the yellow brick road.   Where will this search take me? How many cowardly lions and witches do I have to run into before I get back to Kansas?

I arrived at the WorkOne office promptly at 9 am as instructed and took a seat. The Wizard was at her desk trying to get the computer to boot up.   I was given a form to fill out that was quite lengthy and  I questioned some of the questions, such as who my next of kin was.  Why would the unemployment office care?  If I died tomorrow my benefits stop immediately.  I also noticed the Munchins all around me.

I kept answering the questions and when it came to "What was your hourly wage at your last job?" I kind of got stuck because I didn't know where this form was going and I had already provided all of this information when I filed for benefits.  I asked the Wizard in charge why they needed it and she said it was to match us to open positions that they had.  I chuckled, as I have conducted job searches on the WorkOne website and I get ZERO matches.  Apparently Supply Chain and Purchasing are not jobs that they are familiar with.  

But maybe the Wizard can help!  I asked her if they would make me take a job at McDonald's or some such other place. She said no, they can't make you work, but you have to show you are looking.  Looking I am doing, but thank god. Can you see me working at McDonald's?  Picture this scenario:

- Woman walks into McDonald's and stands in front of me at the counter contemplating the vast and diverse menu, and stares, and stares, and does not order, continuing to try to figure out what to order.

- Type A Linda the new cashier , McDonald's newest counter person patiently waits for 5 seconds then shouts "it is fast food for crying out loud, that means you have to order it fast. How difficult can this be?"  I yell as the manager escorts me out the door.  

Yes, good thing they won't make me work at McDonald s.  

Onto the session.  I had a cynical view when I came in, I was not sure what to expect; I was not  hopeful that I would gain anything useful out of being here for three hours.  When the session started the Wizard introduced herself and said we would get a chance to introduce ourselves later on. First she wanted to go through a PowerPoint presentation, which included how to use the internet, how the work force has changed since the 1980's (that was useful).  Very condescending almost, is how I felt.  I was thinking "can I get up and leave, I felt this was for  people who had no clue?"  I did sit right next to the door and I swore if they discussed knife skills, that was it, I was out the door.

But, I stayed, what else did I have to do?  As the morning went on we finally got to introduce ourselves.  Linda, our Wizard started out asking for volunteers.  As I listened to the introductions I thought that this is the place for most of these folks, they need the help.  When it came to me I toned down my introduction and focused more on how I could help some of the folks in the room.  One woman was laid off from Molly Maids and wanted to start her own cleaning business. I told her I would hook her up with my sister who started her own cleaning  business. One woman was a program manager and felt her scope of looking was limited as she had worked at Raytheon. I told her not to feel that way, her PMO skills were transferable to any industry and I had some contacts for her.  At that point the Wizard told me it was not networking time and basically stop talking!  I was deflated..................

In the networking session I connected with the two ladies again and discussed my womens'  networking and mentoring group and getting connected and helping them out.  I guess it wasn't such a bad idea to go to this session as I was able to  help some folks out in their job search.  I didn't sign up for the "counseling sessions" as I didn't feel that they would have much to offer me as I am working with multiple recruiters at this time. Besides, this would free up time for other more needy folks.

We got a tour of the facility by the Wizard, quite entertaining to hear about the copiers and free wi-fi for use!  I know, I am being cynical but I guess I need to put myself in someone else's shoes.  I am very fortunate to have what I have.  Actually, I am not fortunate, I worked very hard for what I have and I am proud of my accomplishments.  Everything that I have I have earned with hard work and saving. It has nothing to do with being fortunate.  How can we get that into people's heads?  That is all it takes, hard work and some sweat equity and yes you can have things.

I am not one for handouts and taking unemployment  is hard for me, but why shouldn't I? In my 30 plus years of working I have never had to take unemployment.  Some would say I was lucky, I would say I worked hard and my employers knew it.

 

When we were finally done just after noon all I wanted to do was click my ruby red shoes and head back to Kansas!  But instead I snuck around the corner and climbed into my Mercedes and drove home.

FALL is Here and so is the Unemployment Line!

I had the pleasure of visiting my unemployment office today. This has to be one of the most humbling experiences of my life.   In Indiana you have to file online for your claim before you can move to the next step.  I had originally filed September 9,  a couple weeks after my severance pay ran out.  While I am a pretty bright person, navigating through the system is very confusing to say the least.  I wonder how folks who do not have internet and  computers at home get through this process. 

First things first - THE PROCESS

I went on Google and found the website and read all the instructions on how to apply.  The first thing they tell you is that by Indiana law you don't get paid for your first week of unemployment and then it is a 3 week period before you get your first check.  Oh, and by the way, you won't be getting a check you will get a debit card, that if you don't follow all the instructions just right your money will be eaten up by fees.  Apparently this is such a problem that they have a class on how to manage your debit card to avoid the fees.  Seriously?  Just give me a check.  The card is supposed to save the state money - me I think it is to collect fees off of the poor folks who have no job.  Did I also mention that they ask if you want to have the taxes withheld or pay them later?  Taxes on unemployment? At this point why bother?  By the time I actually get any money there won't be any left after taxes (more unemployment tax on my unemployment check, isn't that an oxymoron?) and fees.  

After you file your initial claim you are told that you have to register on Indiana Career Connect site and do job searches weekly.  I went to the site, registered and started the process of uploading my resume etc.  At one point you are asked to go through a skills assessment to rate your skills in varying different categories.  The one that I thought was the most interesting was when they asked me what my knife skills were, did I know how to use a knife? Well, I had to ponder that one for a moment; if they were referring to cutting vegetables then yes!!  Eureka, I have knife skills; but are they referring to skinning a deer with a knife, if so then I hate to admit but I don't have those knife skills.  Daringly,  I checked yes, I have knife skills in case that one my job offers would require me to have knife skills.  

NO I DON'T HAVE THIS SKILL

YES I HAVE THIS SKILL

At this point I have checked off all of my skills and I am ready to run my first job search on the site; which is required even though I have 25 job searches on other sites, and I am working with several recruiters,  but whatever.  I have put in all my criteria, my experience level,education,  location (anywhere basically), and I hit "RUN".  

I wait, wait, wait for it, and nothing.  Not one job fits my criteria.  Not one. So I went back in and took out some of my requirements (like education), and still nothing. They actually don't even have supply chain as a  job category I discovered.  Very helpful.  

I gave up and went through all the assessments and waited to hear from WorkForce Development, that is the fancy name for the unemployment office.  I got a card in the mail that said welcome to the system.  Every Sunday I have to go into the system and file my weekly claim along with documenting my job search.  When you go to the site to file your claim you also get messages on things you need to do. 

Yesterday my message was to go to the local office.   They didn't say to do anything at the office, just go.  So off I went this morning to the local office, which is 20 miles away mind you.  At the office was a very nice man named Randy.  He walked me through the process of what I had to do today;  I had to sign in and he will note in the system that I signed in.  He then proceeded to tell me that I had to take a 3 hour class tomorrow on how to navigate the system.  Hmmm, wouldn't you think this class might have been more appropriate before I started all this stuff? But, heck, who am I to tell anyone how to do something more efficiently?  I only have 20 years experience of doing just that!  But, I didn't say anything, I just smiled and said what time?  So tomorrow morning from 9-12 I will be taking a class on how to navigate the unemployment process.  

So you may ask, why am I going through this painful process?  You might say, "it is your right, you paid into the system long enough".  Well I think I might actually learn something  along the way, and maybe, just maybe I can help someone navigate this system that really needs the money to survive and provide for their family a lot more than I do.